i am easily amused.
Actual newspaper headlines:(from http://www.mycoted.com/)

    * Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
    * Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
    * Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted
    * Drunk gets nine months in violin case
    * Survivor of siamese twins joins parents
    * Farmer Bill dies in house
    * Iraqi head seeks arms
    * Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
    * Stud tires out – Prostitutes appeal to Pope
    * Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
    * Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
    * British left waffles on Falkland Islands
    * Eye drops off shelf
    * Teacher strikes idle kids
    * Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead
    * Squad helps dog bite victim
    * Shot off woman’s leg helps Nicklaus to 66
    * Enraged cow injures farmer with axe
    * Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
    * Miners refuse to work after death
    * Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
    * Stolen painting found by tree
    * Two soviet ships collide, one dies
    * 2 sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter
    * Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
    * Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
    * Drunken drivers paid $1000 in ’84
    * War dims hope for peace