sad day. odd day.. didnt sleep last night. woke an went to cb on main..saw ch. then up to hollywood..slept etc. the to visit with ch at his house. very hard and a little awkward. strong overwhelming feeling of sadness. must somehow release this. it’s like i believe i am a failure at relationships..and i am mad at myself…but in reality, i am just choosing (or being CHOSEN BY…)the wrong-4-me guys.
ch and i couldnt have been a worse match..really.
he contracted wherever i expanded..
i had dinner at hillmont with mjk etc, nice and made me forget how i felt earlier. but as soon as i am alone again..i am lonely. only not really..just sorta grieving.i guess.