shit. so much has gone on for me.
nowhere to start.no more silverlake(ch). mjk is back. he rocks.
i stayed up there while he was in az thi weekend.
figured out soo many things its wild..the clarity i felt mixed with fear. no sadness though.
oddest part was the call i got this morn. as if he was trying to ‘switch’ the whole thing around..
i am so relieved and incredulous that it took me this long to realizei was lying to myself about how i felt about HIM. i felt alot of things that seemed to be around and about him…yet they were actually sorta addictive trickster feelings deeply rooted in my old thinking.
i transcended some pattern with ch. i am soo over the guy who stays in his apartment -nexttime i hear someone say to me..that “they don’t really like people…’ i am dropping any attempts at frienship etc…