n came over again.gave me more money.more ideas for the site. i told him he has to buy a dig. camera.so i agreed to go with him on saturday to samy’s.
listeneing to marcy playground. wonder what happened to these guys. they remind me of using. actually good recall. makes me want to get high. but of course i won’t cause my life is locked into this sober thing. sometimes it makes me resentful that ican’t just take off and go to aforeign country and sit in a hammock and be high and write in my journal.
gawd i loved that.
being in belize or mexico and just being peacefully high and feeling soo good and far away. that warm, cozy lazy feeling .
it was so safe from all ‘bad’feelings.but now i get to feel all my godamned feeling 24-7-thank you sobriety(?)