went to magic mnt yesterday w/ ie and jlh and aw..met billy and draven there. they are cool. i met them at the gush show rhe other night, but they seemed way funer this time.
lak ‘s life is exploding-she is going on 20/20 next week and they want to make a movie of her book.
so crazy.
i am at a crossroads-don’t know where i want to be. asking for signs from the universe, but i am missing them or they aren’t coming in.
though,i have felt remarkabley lighter after writing email to ykw.
it was bothering me so much to hear third party versions of what he/ i said did …i felt victimized, which i guess was useless, and then i just woke up the other morning, after shutting it out of my thoughts and life for weeks-and i knew tha i had to “right’ my part and let him know i wasn’t unregretful or whatever…basically that i was sorry for confusion i caused by listening to thierd party advice and allegations and basing my opinions on those.
because our whole friendship was so private and special and intimate i guess i felt so shocked when i was laid into ,by that other person, who made me feel as though i had intenionally hurt and betryaed her friend, whom i didn’t know then and don’t know now.
i felt slandered and unsafe and manipulated and pumped for information-which is all true-but i let those feelings taint my friendship with ykw, when i guess, essemtially he was in the same boat ..
ahh wwell. allit boils down to for me is this: i realize how short and precious life is and how important it is to protect myself from other people.